My history professor realized that class attendance has been pretty pathetic lately so he decided to spice it up with a competition. Every class between now and finals will begin with a joke competition. At the end of the semester, the TAs will decide who had the best joke, and that person will get some sort of prize. I actually didn't pay attention to what the prize will be, but probably extra credit, fame, or the something to that effect. The jokes have to be funny, and "clean enough to tell you grandmother... to her face, not on the phone." Unfortunately, all the jokes I know fall into three categories:
1. Dirty
2. Nonsensical
3. From a Laffy Taffy wrapper
Clearly none of the above are appropriate for the competition.
I won't use anyone's jokes for the competition because that would be stealing, but I think it would be fun to hear people's favorite jokes. So comment and tell me! I have no prizes to give out except perhaps my undying love and admiration, but that's not too shabby, eh? They can be dirty, stupid, or not make sense, and I promise I'll laugh and pretend you're a comedic genius even if they're not funny. I'm attempting to get comments going again so don't disappoint me! Christie 10:26 PM
Monday, April 14, 2003
Dream:
My brother and I are driving on the highway when my car starts acting funny. We pull over. Suddenly the cars on the freeway start driving all crazy- going in reverse, moving sideways and crashing into each other. Somehow we know that terrorists have sabotaged every car on the road. We run to avoid getting hit and suddenly Brian becomes Rachel and we bump into the terrorists. They're old women, with bonnets even, and they kidnap us and want to make us terrorists. Of course I have a plan to escape, so I tell them that we need to visit the "little girls' room." They don't understand what that means so I correct myself and ask to use the restroom. Rachel and I pretend to head to the restroom and make a run for it. We end up sprinting through a yoga studio where old hippies are doing yoga. They smile at us and tell us to slow down, literally and metaphorically, but the terrorists are coming so we run right by them. Then I wake up.
Now is when you say: "Psychologically speaking... you're NUTS!" Christie 5:48 PM
As the weather starts to get warmer, I ask everyone to remember that "pale is the new tan." So don't forget your sunscreen. Help me out here. I'm tired of everyone on campus being an unnatural shade of orange. Christie 7:21 PM
Tuesday, April 08, 2003
C: Is your arm ok?
N: Yeah it's fine.
C: Are you sure your arm is ok?
N: Yes!
C: Seriously, your arm is twitching. Am I cutting off your circulation?
N: You seem overly concerned about the welfare of my arm!
C: Yeah, well I can't hang out with you anymore if your arm falls off.
N: Wait, if my arm ever has to be amputated you would just stop liking me?
C: Well, I guess i'll still hang out with you, but I'll probably call you a cripple. And there's no way I'm touching the stump.
My favorite google referral this week: chocolate covered butter biscuits Christie 5:56 PM
Sunday, April 06, 2003
Spring Break Part II: Chicago
- Betsey Lee
- Blame Yourself and other crazy public access tv shows
- cheap wine from 7-11
- swanky restaurants
- shady parking garages
- making friends in the parking lot
- buzzwords: buzzword, ooof
- Sue
- The Floating Door
- chocolate martinis, Sangria, and small pitchers
- public transportation
- traffic!
- free breakfast
- recurring illnesses
- knocking on doors
- polaroids
- Sears Tower
- Art Institute
- Field Museum
- Michigan Ave
- the wheelchair and leg injuries
- inside-out umbrellas
- souvenir shot glasses and comedy
- mask in a mask
- falling babies
- Ed Debevics Christie 9:42 PM
My Spring Break: an outline
Part I. Colorado:
- cute cabin
- porch swing
- lots of pictures
- elk calls
- going to bed by ten
- Nick snoring so loud I wanted to throw my ineffective ear plugs at him
- alarm clocks falling on my brother and then under the bed
- transmission trouble
- tumbleweeds!
- 36 hours in the car round trip
- snowmen with big noses and elf ears
- old men selling empty bottles of Grey Goose for $1.50
- lost shot glasses
- don't rock the gondola!
- three kids stuffed in a little red phone booth
- organic food
- trying valliantly to hike but instead falling in the snow
- Laffy Taffy jokes
- $175 t-shirts for sale
- rock piles for peace (or a good laugh)
- "roughing it" doesn't mean I'll give up my daily shower
- buzzword: authentic
- beautiful!
Part II: Chicago, to be cont'd... Christie 11:41 PM
Friday, March 21, 2003
Blogger keeps deleting my new posts. Granted they're not very interesting, but I'm offended nonetheless. We'll see if this works.
We're approximately 12.5 hours from our departure time for the Colorado trip, and the prospects of us making it to Colorado are not looking good. There was a freak blizzard in Denver this week and several of the roads we need to take to get to Ouray are either closed or restricted to cars with snow tires or chains (neither of which I have...).
Nonetheless we will persevere. I'll ski to the cabin if I have to.
Well, probably not.
I hope everyone else has/had a safe and fun spring break. Christie 5:39 PM
